10. Good Day Dear Friend

Tenth and final post in a 10-part story

Good day dear friend.

I hope you are doing fine today.

It is with an apportionment of shame and a good deal of embarrassment that I must confess to you that I recently discovered a small miscalculation in the logic tree written by me and which was central to the functionality of my proprietary iphone and android selectivity app which I mentioned in my last email.

I have recently made the corrections that needed to be made and I have reentered my top one hundred thousand candidates for the important task I have up until now been discussing with you. 

Using this newly adjusted and I believe superior mode of vetting you are no longer the top candidate listed for this very sensitive assignment in fact your name is no longer among the top one-hundred-and-fifty and as a result I have started to reach out to the new top candidate for this assignment a person who fits the ethnic profile I had been looking for perfectly and who is in fact one of the many thousands of sandinkylandic refugees living in the diaspora stretched across southern nebraska who as I also mentioned have been heavily canvased by disillusioned college students over the past twelve months resulting in new and substantial information only now accessible to me.

This new candidate was very receptive to joining me from the outset and has in fact already agreed to partner with me going forward.

It is with great regret that I inform you of this new development today.

I can only say I immediately recognized you as a fine individual who would benefit enormously from the money this inheritance could provide you and as such I was rooting for you from the very start and after reading so many of your extraordinarily moving emails I began to feel as if you were more than a candidate you were an intimate friend and so I am heartbroken to have to send you this very disappointing news and I must mention that the person I have chosen immediately agreed to divert ninety-six and one half percent of her inheritance holding back only what is necessary to remodel her kitchen and dining room with french doors that will open onto a lovely deck overlooking vast Nebraska corn and hemp fields leaving the rest of the monies to fund our work towards the liberation of sandinkyland which is a cause she felt very strongly about even before being contacted by me.

In your emails which became ever more private and extraordinary as we pursued our potential alliance and which I always looked forward to always anticipating your next message which would give me so much to think about so that I would frequently find myself lost in daydreams and fantasies about you and your part in the grand stratagem into which I believed we would soon join forces until I came to consider your participation to be almost divinely appointed and this fueled an irrational sense of destiny along with a sort of dreamy obsession about you as I’ve explained already and daydreams which ultimately evolved into variations of the hypothetical scene of our first physical meeting which I considered inevitable at that point and involved the working out of what I would precisely say to you and what you would say to me in response and these dream meetings started to seem so real and meaningful that they actually supplanted my burning ambition to free my country from tyranny. 

During our correspondence you often addressed me as advocate but of course that was never my true name advocate argronominious-don is simply a multi-dimensional anagram of my actual name with the addition of six random letters.

I remind you that our email correspondence up until this latest exchange has already been wiped clean. Not a shred of evidence of our communications will remain on your phone or any other internet-connected digital environment you may have entered into and all our utterances including the ones you are reading now will disappear at the moment you reach the last word of this email and in fact after a little time passes it is likely you will think this entire episode was just a wayward dream you had during a stressful period of your life a visitation that was conjured by your subconscious mind perhaps to placate you during this strange and temporary period of unhappiness and maybe it will be wise to consider it so but before I disappear from your life I do want to say most sincerely that I wish fervently for your happiness and prosperity going forward.

Through the vetting process we undertook together I came to know you as a thoughtful and diligent person with a resilient and determined nature and I part with you with the highest level of confidence that the difficulties you are suffering through at this time are transitory and you will succeed brilliantly at any future task or vocation you discover and I likewise feel certain that your restiveness and sense of loss will fade away your disappointments will evaporate like dew on blue-eyed grass and the space in your heart where the beast of betrayal takes temporary residence will once again fill up with warmth and friendship.

And of course after my life’s mission to free my country is complete and god willing I survive the battles I am about to wage against the oppressor I hope to use whatever power remains to me to aid you from afar something I imagine doing secretly and anonymously and perhaps from time to time when you experience a small and unexpected stroke of luck when you find a little money you did not know you had or when an opportunity an unsolicited one arises out of the blue you will wonder if that strange correspondence you came to believe was just a dream was something that maybe really happened after all and if that is so perhaps in a future time when peace and equanimity have returned to the world we live in you and I will get our chance to finally meet.

Thank you dear friend. 

Advocate argronominious-don