Good day dear friend.
I hope you are doing fine today.
My research has already informed me that you are an intelligent and discerning individual who possesses an alert and skeptical mind so it comes as no surprise that my recent special offer that included an explanation of my process has increased your interest in my stratagem while it also elicited several questions the most pressing of which is how do I know you and how did I get your email?
I have not so far mentioned that besides being a cutting edge scientist and fine lawyer I am also an expert in cataloging and compartmentalizing superabundant reservoirs of personal and private data which I am in the business of secretly mining from corporate and government servers inclusive of a vast trove of genetic records voluntarily submitted to so-called ancestry registries around the world businesses which for a small fee provide their clients unforeseen and entertaining hereditary associations with dead politicians military leaders mass murderers and other fallen celebrities which provide material for popular and pleasurable distractions fun to shock and amuse friends and intimates with for several decades now and I am proud to inform you that I hold data on ninety-eight-point-six percent of the world’s population and genetic profiles for eighty-nine-point-seven percent of those and over the last few weeks I have used a special proprietary app that works both on iphone and android designed by me to identify individuals who one: have ancestors who were once residents of the small landlocked kingdom the ancestral homeland I share with my former client and two: reveal personality profiles that can be demarcated as hpsat also known as high performing seeker after the truth in other words intelligent practical forward-looking and preferably female persons who are vivacious self confident attractive and have an ethnographic resemblance to members of my client’s newly extinct family.
This compendious research project I’m describing to you led me to one unique individual the person I speak of of course is you you alone who among all the millions I’ve analyzed have maintained your position in the highest cohort for every category including steadfastness intellect sensibility taste temperament traits of personality and I cannot help but mention your charming pink butterfly tattoos which though not a determining factor also helped to move the needle intuitively upwards as the most highly and perfectly qualified individual to whom I have the honor to offer this exceptional opportunity to take possession of a fifty-percent share of thirteen-million-five-hundred-eighty-eight-thousand nine-hundred and seventy-nine dollars and sixty-nine cents.
Remember each cell of a man or woman has a nucleus inside it the central part around which all biochemical relationships are formed and each nucleus holds chromosomes which are dna molecules like tiny ancient scrolls that often contain astonishing transformative secrets awaiting to be unrolled translated and decoded.
Please do not delay to sign on to this once-in-a-lifetime acquisition of no-strings-attached life-changing bounty as I have recently informed the bank’s chief executive that I am close to locating my dead client’s only surviving heir and I wish to cement our bond of mutual understanding while this exciting opportunity continues to be in play for you.
Thank you dear friend.
Advocate argronominious-don
I'm still loving it. Favorite phrases so far: "no-stone-left-unturned sleuthing" and
"once-in-a-lifetime acquisition of no-strings-attached life-changing bounty."