9. Good Day Dear Friend

Ninth post in a 10-part story

Good day dear friend.

I hope you are doing fine today.

You seemed surprised when you found out I am a woman but here I must remind you again that during our conversation my general outline and the tenor of my voice was digitally masked. 

I do not deny that I may be a woman but I do not accede to that version of myself either and only when we meet will the truth of my physicality be revealed to you. 

It also amuses me your quip that when a person is engaged in raising an army he must be male. 

Was Joan of Arc a man some say she was.

Other aspects of our conversation were revealing also especially when we veered away from the subject which was our original one that is my integrity and truthfulness and we delved into matters that seemed to me of little account and I must admit I was somewhat stunned by the depth of your determination to punish your ex and especially that you intend to use part of the money for that. 

I celebrate that you have at last said out loud that you wish to join me but my joy is tempered by hearing of your plan to hire a hit man or several men to travel to the remote mining area where your former lover oversees libonium extraction at an enormous pit and these men who you plan to pay the sum of six-hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollars or even more if necessary you say to find jobs in the mine with the intention of fomenting rebellion against the company and in particular against your ex for whom the workers must already feel a heightened sense of outrage stemming from their abysmally dangerous job conditions and the low pay which is as little as one sixty-fourth of the average salary of a full time parking lot attendant in usa and you calculate that within a few weeks of fanning the flames of resentment and anger the men in the mines led by your agents who you plan to pay each seventy-five thousand dollars in advance with the remainder promised upon completion of the job will exhort the miners and local villagers to grab hold of the first primitive weapon at their disposal rise up and rush the house where your ex is known to cohabitate with the man you call coke machine boy actually named lawrence and overpower the modest contingent of security personnel who will likely already have fled upon seeing the angry workers rushing towards them along the rutty roads with machetes and iron bars and metal poles from the torn-down security fencing which they will use to batter the doors and windows of your ex’s mansion much like the insurgents who entered the halls of congress on january six two-thousand-twenty-one and then if they do not kill them outright they will drag your ex and the man named lawrence into the parking lot where they will erect a primitive gallows made of old beams pulled out from a collapsed part of the mine and there they will torture and hang the body of your ex as well as coke machine boy and dance with torches around them and take turns lopping off parts of the charred and mangled cadavers with their machetes as they cheer each other on.

This as you can imagine disturbs me not because I feel any affection for or need to protect your ex for whom I share an honest and vehement opprobrium but because from the moment we walk into our meeting with the bank and make our move to have the money transferred to your name I will be closely associated with you as your legal representative and it is only natural to expect that officers of the bank and other interested parties may issue a protest which will need to be adjudicated before a court-appointed referee and no matter how impotent their objections to you taking possession of your rightful inheritance it remains that I will be your agent your attorney of record and if what follows is a vendetta against the person who wronged you I fear being dragged into a very unnecessary distraction from my primary work which is the liberation of my queen her royal offspring and the eviction of rumpus’ criminal agents from my homeland.

I have always told you how you scored the highest in every metric of my proprietary app designed for both iphone and android and how you are the apotheosis of my hpsat prospects and it is clear you are very intelligent self-possessed and I have to say I hope you don’t mind me telling you remarkably pretty much prettier than those images of you I harvested from your instagram or the funny ha ha photos you uploaded onto your facebook. 

You are prettier than I thought before and your persona your overall affect your digital incarnation that I witnessed was a very powerful one and I can see how in spite of your many equivocations regarding our mutual project you exude extraordinary self confidence and I was very impressed but I was confused also. 

There is of course no question that you are you and yet it’s strange to experience my discovery of you and if I dare to say it plainly your spectacular beauty fused with the immensity of your simmering desire for revenge has made you seem somehow a different person than the woman I’ve been corresponding with up until now. 

I must tell you I have had trouble in the past with very pretty women by which I mean innately pretty incontrovertibly pretty ones who can be hard to come to an understanding with the ones belonging to a race of beings who are perpetually aware of their attractiveness which they can wield with great effect and this self-awareness which is so powerful frequently distorts the very reality that surrounds them it bends the air I might say and it often becomes an impediment to honest thought and being and intentionality when one is in the midst of very important work but my hope is that the effect of your beauty will be allayed somewhat by the very serious nature of our task and your equally obvious intellect.

Please let me know what you think about these comments or any other concerns I inadvertently failed to share or anything you wish to add to my account above.

I plan to inform the president of the bank of my having at last located the sole surviving heir to the thirteen-million-five-hundred-eighty-eight-thousand nine-hundred and seventy-nine dollars and sixty-nine cents on Thursday. 

I expect I will have by then received your firm agreement to proceed so we will be able to discuss terms and travel arrangements.     

Thank you dear friend. 

Advocate argronominious-don